Today I am feeling great!  I have let go of what is of the past.  I am embracing the present and looking forward to the future if I'm blessed to see it.  I am maintaining a positive attitude which will aid in looking at my life positively.

Hills

You know, life has a very good habit of reminding me how much I really can't stand to be abused.  But I will say this.....  I know how to say "NO"!  Yesterday, I did just that.  I couldn't take it anymore.  Everything that had been building up inside of me for the past 2 months suddenl came rushing forth and I am glad to say that I was totally happy to let it out.

I'm sure you all want to know what happened.  As most of you know, I started a new job in January for a company I thought was had a very good reputation for solid, caring service to wards of the state.  About a month into my employment, I started to see that this company was in social service strictly for the dividends it charged DCFS, not to help its clients.  I spoke up about it several times to my supervisor and my super's supervisors.  To no avail!  Nothing changed.   Clients were still being very disrespectful with no consequences, management still dictated orders even when they were just plain stupid, etc..

Yesterday, I had enough.  I was being cussed out, yet again, by a young man who can't seem to control his anger or impulses.  This young man not only cussed me out in his apartment but cussed me out in front of my peers and supervisor.  I, of course, am trying to ignore the behavior but at the same time trying to redirect the client.  My supervisor tells me to be quiet but lets the client continue his rant!  I couldn't believe it! 

The supervisor takes the client to his office and talks with him.  I can hear the whole conversation.  This supervisor is notorious for playing two against the middle.  Why did I think this one conversation would be any different?  I hear the supervisor tell the client that I, Hillabee,  don't know the rules very well.  Then I hear the client say, "Then if she doesn't know the rules, she should shut the f**k up"!  Did I hear the supervisor repremand the client.  NO!  Not a "Please watch your mouth" or a "You can't speak of staff in that manner".  Instead, he just tries to placate the client. 

By this time I am furious.  I want to lash out and tell the client that he should grow up and take the rules as they are.  I hear the door of the office open and the client comes out and says some more nasty, mean-spirited things to me.  And that was when I snapped.  I took the office keys and put them on the supervisor's desk and told him I quit.  Then I proceeded to tell the supervisor how I felt about the whole situation and that I felt he and the company did not support staff.  I did use some choice words.  I know I shouldn't have, but I did. 

So, now I am unemployed and happy about it.  That job was stressing me out so bad, that my school studies have suffered greatly, my motivation is gone, and I was not enjoying life.  Nothing should have that much power over me and nothing ever will again.  I would rather lose my car than lose my sanity and that job was taking it fast! 

I have a job interview lined up this week and there wil lbe many more to come.  I know I will get a job.  I am not worried about it.  This is my life and I am taking it by the balls!

Hills